Boys' first target: physical sex

Don't fool yourself
Girls, in the beginning I will say it simple.

Every time when you meet a boy, everywhere you meet a boy, anyhow you meet a boy, in any circumstance you meet a boy, don't fool yourself with what you might see in his presence; first of all he wants sex. All he is doing is related to physical sex, even if he is not aware of it. But in the majority of cases, boys know very well what they want.

THEY WANT SEX.

It is not bad though. It could sound sad, or it could sound too abnormal or unnatural. It is not.

The first approach of the boy is bound to be sexual in the physical way. This is the boy, this is the hunter in the story, this is the Yang in Chinese culture, and the rooster in the backyard. The tendency is not bad though.

Sex is not bad or unnatural. Sex is sex. The problem is not sex.

The problem is how one is using sex, how one is dealing with sex.
The way boys handle sex is the difficulty of their life. This difficulty is inflated by the psychological pressures, by the childhood happenings – good or bad, by men he used to get around, a lot of other factors. And the person caught in a male body is so exposed to sexual attachments!

Try to see the person behind

Even if a man is acting like an obsessed maniac, don’t make the mistake of seeing the animal only. Try to see the person behind, although he is unconscious. Treat the man the way you feel in that moment, but try to stay focused on the person or human side, yours and his.

Why you should do that? Because if you loose focus of the human side of nature, you fall in the animal state also, you start to personalize everything that one is doing to you. You will become selfish, a feminine egoist, materialistic like the man in front of you, not so different as you might wish.

The woman’s problem is that, like the man, she doesn’t quite stay in reality also. Yet she is more attuned with reality - she has the lunar cycle, she is more sensitive, more permissive – but nature counterbalances everything. She is dreamier, she fantasies a lot. She doesn’t hunt the chicks on the road, but she hunts the perfect lover in her dreams.

Man is escaping reality through visible and tangible ways, but woman is escaping reality through invisible and intangible ways. So the woman is harder to be detected when she is “offline” from reality.

Physical sex will remain physical sex

No matter how much a man idolize physical sex, how much glamour he is conferring to physical sex, how much importance he is attaching to physical sex, the physical sex will remain physical sex. The physical sex is superficial. Why? Because is physical. Physical dimension is a tiny surface of reality. Sexuality penetrates everything, this is true. But physical dimension is very superficial. It is like a nature’s little baby, not strong enough to stay on his own foots.
What good for is a skyscraper when it is bound to fall down? The skyscraper is not strong; it only appears to be this way.

This is the tricky little piece in the puzzle that puzzles the man: the dimension of physical (sex and everything else). The man’s vision is caught in the minuscule world. He is seeing every little pebble like a heavy stone. Thus, physical sex is the lucky master of the person which embodies the male body.

Why? This is because in the midst of physical things, physical sex is the most pleasurable.

Why? Because physical pleasure is the physical counterpart of total contentment. It is the contentment of an enlightened person felt in physical dimension. There are so much more pleasures in the spiritual realms, pleasures that are transformed into joy, happiness, peace, bliss.
But the man is caught in the physical.
The male part of a man is not bad. The female hunting is not bad. It is a part of reality, it is a game. The game is not the matter. The approach is problematic.

Why? Because if you want more and more from something small, you are bound to suffer. And all the suffering affects the game, the hunting. All this suffering transforms into prejudices, obsessions and exaggerations. And all these fruits of suffering are transforming into actions. And this is the tragedy. A vicious circle begins. The response from females is negative in the male’s perspective, and the suffering grows.

Suffering grows and the hunkering after pleasure begins to be the central interest in the male. He is feeling hungry. This hunger is not bad. Anyone felt hungry.

What is wrong is the inability of the person to understand that one cannot satisfy the hunger of the soul through physical pleasure.

This understanding is the solution, the cure. Then the person can gain the possibility of freedom out the bondage, and the contentment the soul needs.

Nature of things
So, girls, don’t fool yourselves with your fantasies. A strong relationship doesn’t begin with love, as well as the sunrise, the beginning of the day, doesn’t begin with a hot sun. In the beginning, the first touch of two persons is bound to be physical. This is the nature of things. When two spheres are melting into each other, first they touch with their surfaces, then the pervasion happens and the centers begin to melt into each other.

First of all, stop dreaming about relationships. Enjoy physical and everything available in that moment.

But try to understand something. Be very attentive and do strictly what you feel! Assure yourself that first, something is available; don’t assume that something is there when it is not.

The simple test of truth?

Listen to your intuition and impulses.

If they come from the heart and above, especially from the head, don’t trust the feelings and impulses. Something is wrong, and your whole body recognizes it and tells you about it, but not in words. Be aware and stop any happening that you are being asked or forced to do.

If they come from the median part of your body, from the navel, and it feels “good”, when you sense with all your body that it is good, then it is safe to make the move. Have trust in the feeling and be natural.

Drop your prejudices, drop all of your friends’ opinions, and do what you feel completely. Don’t be divided, act wholly. Move with integrity, and integrity means to act wholly any moment; not divided. Keep yourself integrated; in this way you escape regrets.

Good luck in your new approaches! Any question is welcomed!